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Belated happy birthday to [livejournal.com profile] kazzy_cee and [livejournal.com profile] beccagirl17555

and happy birthday to [livejournal.com profile] desoto_hia873 and [livejournal.com profile] miriya_2099

On Sunday, when I was cleaning my teeth, they fell out into the sink and snapped in two. My lower palate, that is, containing all my lower back teeth. Only the front teeth are my own. This made it rather difficult to eat. I could nibble, but not chew, and I was therefore very restricted in what I could eat. Soup, mainly.

No problem, I thought. There is a dental technician a hundred yards from my house who fixes dentures in an hour.

Except that there wasn't. When I went there on Monday there was no-one there. The shop unit that he used has a history of businesses moving in and then going out of business. I fear that he has joined that number, for when I returned home (bringing my teeth back with me) I looked in the phone book and found that his number isn't listed any more.

However there was another dental technician listed, ten minutes walk away rather than one minute, but within reach anyway. I took my teeth to him today and now I can rejoice for, verily, he has welded my teeth together. I can eat again! Rejoice!

Actually I had fish and chips for tea, rather than a cheeseburger, but I could have had cheeseburgers if I'd wanted.
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More teeth trouble. The tooth that had partially snapped off, and which has been root filled and which the dentist was intending to crown, has now snapped all the way off. I’m having a lot of problems biting now.

I now have two back-up journals; an Insane Journal to add to the Greatest Journal that I created back at the time of the last mass exodus. I’m not wild about the Insane Journal interface but the management seem friendly. I’ve just posted a re-written version of my 2004 Harmony-centric fic Pyromania at both those Journals.

I’ve had several Award nominations recently – so many, in fact, that I can’t keep track of them. The latest is ‘Savage Beauty’ at the Shades of Grey Awards. [livejournal.com profile] curiouswombat has been nagging me to finish it anyway and this nomination is another push towards that. I certainly will get on with it in the relatively near future, but for the moment ‘Tabula Avatar’ is my top priority. I’m only two or three chapters away from the shattering revelation to which I’ve been looking forward for months. Or perhaps ‘looking forward’ is the wrong phrase; I don’t enjoy inflicting pain on the characters and there is a great deal of pain and suffering to come.

But at least they (at least the survivors) will still have all their own teeth.
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Don’t be fooled by the humorous ficlets that I’ve been putting up recently. The last few days have not been a fun time for me.

A couple of weeks back a tooth snapped off at the gum line. It had been heavily filled previously and didn’t cause me any significant pain. Inconvenient rather than anything worse. I had an extra tooth inserted into my existing set of false teeth to fill the gap and on Thursday I was to get the stump root-filled. That shouldn’t have been too bad.

And then on Tuesday the matching tooth on the other side of my mouth did almost the same thing. It didn’t quite snap at gum level; a viciously pointed Spike that looked like a scale model of a great white shark’s tooth remained as a hazard for my tongue.

As a result my Thursday dental appointment was something of a marathon. Following a ten-hour night shift I arrived at the dentist and spent an hour and a half having root canal work (without anaesthetic) and also having the Spike smoothed and rebuilt. Something of an ordeal but it did leave my mouth in much better shape.

Until yesterday my lower palate snapped in half as I slept and I woke up in the evening with two pieces of sharp-edged plastic loose in my mouth. I don’t know how I didn’t choke – probably it was the palate snapping that woke me, although it was time for me to get up anyway.

This morning I phoned the dentist, who does have a surgery on Saturday mornings – but not today. Closed. And the probable reason for being closed on what would normally be a working day? It’s a Bank Holiday in the British Isles on Monday and he will be taking a long weekend. So I won’t be able to do anything about getting something done about the teeth until Tuesday. It’s only back teeth that are missing on my bottom jaw, and I can talk and bite perfectly well – but my chewing is severely impaired and it’s not very comfortable. Things like that always happen at the start of Bank Holiday weekends. And I work Bank Holidays anyway, if they fall during my scheduled nights, despite the fact that I work in a bank!

I have heard that there is a kerfuffle just coming to an end. I haven’t directly encountered it – the person at the centre is someone whose fic I wouldn’t read except perhaps at gunpoint (and it would have to be a fairly large calibre gun) – but it does seem to have upset some of my F-list. Luckily it seems to be dying down now.

I’ve taken more of an interest in the Fanlib affair. I received an invite ages ago and really took little notice. I looked at it, thought ‘scam’, and immediately marked it as Junk Mail and told Thunderbird to trash it and any follow-ups. It seems that it wasn’t a scam, at least not in the sense that I first thought, although I wouldn’t exactly call it legitimate either.

I’ve always accepted that I’m not going to earn money for my fan-fiction. I turned down an offer from Amazon to put one of their click-through links on my site because I felt that it could be held to be me profiting from the fic. But if anybody ever did profit from my fics it had damn well better be me and not some corporate sleazeballs who remind me very much of the slimy ‘80s Guy in the Futurama episode ‘Future Shock’ (only without the sharp suit and the obsession with ‘Safety Dance’).

Fandom has, of course, turned on them like a school of dolphins ramming sharks. Very commendable and to be expected (although it wouldn’t surprise me if one particular BNF-in-exile signed up to Fanlib in the vain hope that she could make some money from it). One aspect of the condemnation has, however, slightly perturbed me.

They are being criticised for being men and therefore alien to fandom.

Please. Criticise them for being vultures, parasites, looters, idiots, morons with all the ethical sense of a starving hyena, completely clueless losers, whatever; but please leave their gender out of it.

My subjective opinion is that fanfic is nowhere near as predominantly female as is claimed. Fanfic on LiveJournal is certainly overwhelmingly female, and women may well predominate on the Internet as a whole, but my experiences of fanfic on Usenet seemed to show quite the reverse. And of course there is the Super!Xander sub-culture of male fic writers, locked away in their underground bunkers, writing stories in which Xander dressed as the Navy Seals’ unarmed combat champion/top sniper/fastest draw/explosives expert at Halloween and retained all the memories. Okay, their stories are absolutely interchangeable, and devoid of anything remotely of interest to anyone who can’t disassemble a Desert Eagle with their toes in the dark, but there are quite a few of them.

Just because they don’t show up on your radar doesn’t mean that they don’t exist.

(Random thought; if the Fanlib people really wanted to prove they were part of fandom one of them would fake his own death – after a few despairing posts from the hospital, and even the operating theatre, of course.)

And finally; it hasn’t all been bad. 2 of my stories have been nominated in the Shades of Grey Awards (I must remember to tell them that I accept the nominations!) and another 2 are in the ‘Best of the Best’ round at Fang Fetish. And Lewis Hamilton has qualified second on the grid for Monaco – and I’m off work tomorrow and will be able to watch the race.
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Happy birthday to [livejournal.com profile] rhi_silverflame and (if rumor is correct) to [livejournal.com profile] spikewriter

I underwent the Procedure That Shall Not Be Named today; it wasn’t as bad as I had feared. Thanks to everyone who sent me good wishes.

Yesterday I posted Chapter 36 of Tabula Avatar but I took it down again because I had skipped over too much. On re-reading it I realized that I was giving the impression that the scenes were all taking place on the same day whereas in fact there are four days between the first scenes and the last. I have re-written it with new scenes covering the events that took place during the missing days and here is the revised version. I hope that it is an improvement. Now 6,585 words plus a short drow glossary. Rating R. Previous Chapters are HERE.

Summary: AU from some point during Tabula Rasa, when the crystal doesn’t get broken and something else happens to it instead. Events bearing some similarities to those in [livejournal.com profile] kallysten and [livejournal.com profile] kantayra’s excellent story Tabula Rasa Ad Aeternum took place off-screen during the earlier chapters of this story.

Tabula Avatar Chapter Thirty-six )

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Happy birthday to [livejournal.com profile] jaxinny and to [livejournal.com profile] lilacdream7

Today has been something of an ordeal. I’ve been on an incredibly restricted diet, and have had to take some medicine with effects that are usually regarded as extremely undesirable, because my gastro-intestinal tract has to be totally empty for the internal examination tomorrow. I’ve been keeping my mind off the gnawing hunger by working hard on ‘Tabula Avatar’.

ETA: This post contained Chapter 36 last night but I've taken it down again now. I was in too much of a hurry to get it done and I didn't make it clear that several days pass between the first scenes and the last. I'm rewriting now and it will go up again shortly with new scenes inserted to account for the passage of time. Sorry.
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Happy birthday to [livejournal.com profile] theohara and to [livejournal.com profile] toysdream

It's still the 1st in their time zones, although no longer in mine.

Today (or yesterday in my time zone) wasn't a productive one for writing. I spent a good chunk of the day at the hospital undergoing a pre-operative assessment ready for the internal examination on the 8th. They gave me comprehensive instructions as to what I am allowed to eat on the 7th, and medicine to take on that day to clean me out internally; it is not going to be a fun day. The procedure itself isn't going to be fun either, although at least I will be sedated for it, and I'll probably be pretty much out of it on the 9th too. Oh well.
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Belated Happy Birthday to [livejournal.com profile] thomasina75 and Happy Birthday to [livejournal.com profile] ladyemorgaine.

I went to the hospital for tests today. They didn’t do any actual tests, just asked questions and made a cursory examination that was no more than the doctor had done, and then they made an appointment for me to go back on November 8th to have a camera inserted somewhere that I won’t mention. I’m feeling much better at the moment and I have completed the next chapter of that piece of Oriental insanity known as ‘Dojo Hard’.

Exactly 2,000 words. Rating R. Previous parts are HERE. Banner by [livejournal.com profile] spikeshunny.

Dojo Hard Part 11 )

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Happy birthday to [livejournal.com profile] lilithn; belated happy birthdays to [livejournal.com profile] sueworld2003, [livejournal.com profile] syderia, and [livejournal.com profile] tolrag

Thanks to everyone who posted good wishes in response to my last post about my ill health. I’m sorry but I haven’t felt up to replying to the flood of comments individually. The doctor has ruled out a clostridium infection and now believes that I have diverticulitis. I don’t understand all the medical terminology – see [livejournal.com profile] curiouswombat’s LJ for that – but the results of my blood tests worried him. So not what I wanted to hear. There is something that has a normal range of 0.2 – 0.6 and mine is 20. I have to go back to the hospital in a week to have further tests done. It doesn’t sound as if I’m going to be back to good health any time soon.

I haven’t felt like working on any of my WIPs recently. I’m going to try to get some work done tonight. What I have done is a morbid little piece about death. It contains spoilers for a couple of the stories within the ‘Tales of the Slayers’ collections, for my own stories ‘The Cloak of Mist’ and ‘Lonely on the Mountain’, and also for [livejournal.com profile] quinara’s superb [livejournal.com profile] watchersdiaries ‘Tales of the Slayer’ story Propugnatrix Pollia.

Twenty-five deaths of the Slayer  )

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I am not well. I have been going to work, because I was in charge for the past three nights and they couldn't have coped without me, and because I really didn't think that I'd feel any better at home, but I've been in a lot of pain and I went to the doctor as soon as my last shift finished (I can't really go during my working days because it would mean missing out on precious sleep).

I had suspected a malaria flare-up, because I've been having acute shivering fits, but apparently not. The doctor believes that it is a clostridium infection. As part of the examination he gave my abdomen a good prodding and it hurts like hell. I can't walk properly because of the pain (I couldn't even before the examination, but it's worse now).

My usual fic output may well be adversely affected. It's not easy to write when doubled up with abdominal cramps and also I've been sleeping for eleven hours a day and feeling that I could sleep longer. So now I'm off work I might well sleep for even more of the day.
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Those of you who read [livejournal.com profile] curiouswombat's LJ will know what's been wrong with me recently. For those who don't:

I've had a flare-up of malaria. Yesterday I was shivering so hard in bed I not only woke [livejournal.com profile] curiouswombat up, I drove her from the bed because the bed was shaking so hard it was making her feel sick. My muscles are still aching all over.

I haven't felt up to doing anything for a couple of days, apart from playing computer games (Rome: Total War). I'm just returning to normal now, and will be getting back to the writing before too long. I'm not in the mood for any of the existing WIPs, I'm afraid; I'm considering getting on with "Alone", the story of which I posted the opening scene on 29th November. I'll decide later.
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I hadn't realised how long ago it had been since I mentioned the glaucoma. 29th and 30th June last year. I had a follow-up appointment about 8 weeks later but I don't seem to have mentioned that in any posts. So my cryptic reference to the "opthalmic consultant" in yesterday's post will have only meant anything to perhaps half a dozen of you. Even [livejournal.com profile] theohara, who I had thought would have been one of my Friends at the time, in fact only dates back to 9th August 2004.

So, to clarify. Last summer my optician became worried about my optic nerves being enlarged and suspected Normal Pressure Glaucoma. [livejournal.com profile] curiouswombat helpfully brought me leaflets from the Glaucoma Society, which scared me rigid. I went to the opthalmic consultant on 30th June in a state of abject terror, but he said he believed I was okay. However I would have to have follow-up tests. One was a couple of months after the first test, and I was still fine, the second was 14th March. With that test looming I began to worry again. The thought of possibly being told to stop using Display Screen Equipment is terrifying to me. I work in front of a computer screen, I spend 90% of my leisure time in front of a computer. I would lose my livelihood and my hobby in one fell swoop.

However I was worrying about nothing. There has been no change at all since the last examination, my Visual Field Test was satisfactory, and he says I don't need to come back for any further checks unless the optician notices any changes in the future.

So that is why I had lost touch with my funny side, and why I'm feeling better now. Still not sure how soon I'm going to be returning to "Savage Beauty", I'm afraid. I do want to get back to the other stories.


Aug. 5th, 2004 11:18 pm
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Well, I'm more or less recovered now.  At 11.30 this morning I was in bed and feeling too weak to get out; at 3.00 pm I was in work and logged on.  Unfortunately we're so mind-blowingly busy I didn't have time to tell anyone that I had dragged myself from my sick-bed to sacrifice myself for the company, so my efforts are probably unappreciated.

Thanks to those who sent nice messages of sympathy; hope

[livejournal.com profile] missmurchison , who was also ill, is also recovered.


Hi to

[livejournal.com profile] limerickgirl , who I notice has return Friended me.  I loved your fic "Restitution".  Before I spotted you on LiveJournal I hadn't realised that your pen-name comes from your location; I kept reading your stuff expecting to come across passages on the lines of:

"There was a young lady from Bude

Who was fond of a swim in the nude

She was bit on the ass

By a twenty-pound Bass

And said something exceedingly rude"

and was getting a little perplexed at the absence of any such passages.


And now, revitalised, although still tired and with some stomach pain, I return to my writing.  Don't all cheer at once.




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I've been ill. Very ill. Projectile vomiting and diarrhea and being too weak to stand. In the last 24 hours I've been asleep for 20 of them and in the toilet for three.

My daughter caught it first, then my wife, then me. Judging by their experiences I've got another 24 hours of illness to go.

So, way behind schedule on the writing. My plan to finish "I am the walrus" today and make a start on the next chapter of "It's got to be perfect" tomorrow is out of the window.

Feeling weak again, back to bed now.
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A great weight off my mind today. The Consultant doesn't think I have Glaucoma. Another test to do in 6 to 8 weeks, but he thinks I'm okay. Yay!

A pretty good day overall.

The eye tests weren't fun; having drops put into my eyes to make my pupils so big that even David Beckham could hit them with a penalty kick, and then having bright lights shone into them, not big on the enjoyment factor; but the results made it worth it.

I posted my fic "Smells Like Teen Spirit" in the Bloody Awful Gutter yesterday, and I got some good feedback on it today. Including requests for a sequel. Alas, if I don't get on with "It's Got to be Perfect" and "Pandora's Boxer" I'll get lynched. Especially PB, what with the cliffhanger ending to the last chapter and the length of time that's passed since I posted it.

Tomorrow's my day off work, so I promise I'll buckle down and do some writing.
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So, after promising faithfully to get cracking with "It's Got to be Perfect", I wake up with an idea for something completely unconnected seething in my head, and it won't leave me alone until I've written it.

And it's something completely outside my usual style. Dark, bleak, depressing, sleazy. I've done dark before, but nothing like this. A vignette about life in Rome following the Angel Season 5 episode "The Girl in Question". Pretty explicit.

So no way am I going to put even an extract from it up here. It's strictly website only, with Adult warnings blocking it off. If you want to read it go to the "Buffyverse" section of my site and look for "Smells Like Teen Spirit". On your own head be it.

Rough day at work. Finished work at 22.00 hours. Bus leaves bus station at 21.55 hours. Raced out of work in time to see bus passing. Next one 22.50 hours. Taxi home. Bummer.

Greeted by savage cat. How dare I leave him in the house on his own all day? Let me out, let me back in, feed me, let me back out.

Tomorrow I have to go to hospital to see the consultant about the Normal Pressure Glaucoma that my optician has diagnosed. My wife thoughtfully brought me a leaflet from the International Glaucoma Association, to impress on me the importance of keeping the appointment. Mainly she has succeeded in scaring me absolutely shitless. Still, I suppose it's better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick. Or maybe not, it's pretty much like a poke in both eyes with a sharp stick, only without the mess. Don't really understand how it can be happening, I can see the fleas crawling on seagulls on the roof across the street, and I can read tiny print; but I was having problems parking the car. Scared. Nobody to share it with except cyberspace; my wife's a hundred miles away. My parents 12,000 miles away.

Oh well.

Better press on with "It's Got to be Perfect" while I can still see to type, and then get on with "Pandora's Boxer".


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