I have a cunning plan

[speaker_to_customers]

Belated happy birthday to thomasina75, maryperk73703, ladyemorgaine, and happy birthday to physicsteach and booster17

I know how to solve the world financial crisis.

It is blatantly obvious that it is being made massively worse by the media.

No bank in the world, no matter how cautious and responsible, can survive all its depositors withdrawing their money. The bulk of that money has been lent out; these loans may well be totally safe, loaned only to honest and reliable people who have never missed a payment and who never will, but they CAN'T be forced to repay the loans at a moment's notice. Consequently the constant yammering in the newspapers and TV of 'OMG the banks are going to go bust and you will LOSE YOUR MONEY!', inevitably panicking people into withdrawing said money, is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

What is needed is something that will distract the attention of the media so that they just shut up about the 'crisis' and let the public go back to acting rationally instead of destroying everything. It will have to be something really spectacularly newsworthy, of course, and I have the perfect thing for this celebrity-obsessed world.

Prince William, for the sake of the economies of the Western world, I'm afraid that you're going to have to marry Paris Hilton.

Comments

[adriana-is.livejournal.com]

Brilliant solution!

[zanthinegirl.livejournal.com]

Oh dear God! The perfect solution-- and she'll have to stay in your part of the world that way. It's a win-win!

[petzipellepingo.livejournal.com]

and she'll have to stay in your part of the world that way. It's a win-win!

Yup, you have to keep her and Madonna.

[zanthinegirl.livejournal.com]

I'd donate money to a fund that makes that happen saves the banking industry... :D

[hjcallipygian.livejournal.com]

Hahaha, okay, that is awesome.

[booster17.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

And lets not jump straight to marriage as a first solution : William just has to get her pregnent first...

[speakr2customrs.livejournal.com]

William just has to get her pregnant first...

Simultaneously. Consummation at the end of the ceremony, right in the aisle at Westminster Abbey, on live TV and later available on DVD. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

[pfeifferpack.livejournal.com]

*snort* I think you have come upon the PERFECT plan! These two are obsessions by the public worldwide...think of the drama as we are glued to the moment by moment planning, preparations, (Which BFF of Paris will make the bridesmaid cut? Will she have her dog be ring bearer?). You have come on the BEST IDEA EVER!

Kathleen

[arclevel.livejournal.com]

OMG, I love your icon!

[pfeifferpack.livejournal.com]

Thank you! You are welcomed to take it if you wish.

Kathleen

[kantayra.livejournal.com]

Hell, this would probably bring about world peace, too. But war-torn nations aren't going to get the latest gossip magazines about the upcoming wedding, either.

[a_starfish]

Here via my friendsfriends page. I thought this post was rather fitting to the headline I was just listening to on BBC News 24 about the IMF meeting which was saying the world financial system was teetering on the edge of collapse. Put like that it's *really* going to help people to stay calm and not want to hoard their savings in the form of gold under their beds. *rollseyes* Using the word crisis ten thousand times in every news report doesn't help build a general sense of calm either, now maybe if every time they wanted to use the word crisis it was replaced with 'stuff up' there would be less panic.

Prince William, for the sake of the economies of the Western world, I'm afraid that you're going to have to marry Paris Hilton.
LOL!

PS. Your plan is genius! There must be talk of babies included too for maximum news coverage.

[speakr2customrs.livejournal.com]

Or mention of a possible 'wedding night video'...

[ezagaaikwe.livejournal.com]

*gigglesnort**

Thank you, Speakr, for a much-needed LOL.

[thomasina75.livejournal.com]

Hee! Perfect!

And thank you. :-)

[ayinhara.livejournal.com]

Sheer brilliance!

[jerusha]

LMHO! That is a fantastic plan, and it just might work.

[mommanerd.livejournal.com]

LOL - Perfect solution!

You're brilliant.

[brunettepet.livejournal.com]

This is a much better thought out solution than what has been offered. Show us something shiny, we're easily distractible!

[missmurchison.livejournal.com]

Wisdom greater than Solomon's. I salute you.

[arclevel.livejournal.com]

I freely admit to knowing little to nothing about the economy -- my personal solution is to stick my fingers in my ears, pretend it isn't happening, and try not to think about the fact that I'm about to start applying for completely necessary loans. However, I totally think that your plan for world finances should be adopted. Soon.

(Except that one thing I *do* know about the economic meltdown is that, much as it really, really sucks and is very, very bad, it's good for Obama's ever-growing chances of election...)

[empresspatti.livejournal.com]

Prince William, for the sake of the economies of the Western world, I'm afraid that you're going to have to marry Paris Hilton.


*diez laughing*

[ozma914.livejournal.com]

Good Lord! What a horrible thing to do to Harry!

Although judging from the video, Paris does have certain, um, talents, that doesn't change the fact that sooner or later he'd have to get to know her personality, which would no doubt be followed by heavy drinking and dives from the roofs of high rises and -- you know, this plan might work.

[artistshipper.livejournal.com]

That's the beauty of it. No matter what happens after, the media will be snookered for at least a month to come.

[ozma914.livejournal.com]

If there's one thing to be learned from the current American election, it's that it's easy to snooker the media.

[thismaz.livejournal.com]

You know? I think you've solved it. Congratulations.
Now you just need to convince the prince that noblesse oblige is still a valid concept.

[ffutures.livejournal.com]

Works for me, except that it might distract her from her campaign for fake president, which is much more entertaining than the real one.

[speakr2customrs.livejournal.com]

I'm supporting the Bigfoot/Nessie campaign:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=By_4Jc_M3OI

[sammywol.livejournal.com]

The insane thing is that it might just work.

[cat63.livejournal.com]

I must admit, I know little of finance, but it had certainly occurred to me that at least part of the current problem is the fault of the media.

Poor Prince William. Brilliant idea though.

[lady-gee.livejournal.com]

Hehe, brilliant! Cruel, but brilliant.

[spikereader.livejournal.com]

Sounds like the perfect (and perfectly sensible) solution to me.

[hawera.livejournal.com]

I have never known a bunch of people panic as quickly as businessmen. I sometimes wonder how they manage to make money because one sells, they all sell, and that alone reduces the value of anything they can't get rid of.

However, do I take it that you don't think that the latest breathtaking reality TV series on who is going to be PH's best European friend is going to cut the mustard? What a mind-bogglingly boring subject.