Happy birthday to mymatedave and to agilebrit

I’ve done a birthday drabble for

agilebrit aka Babies Stole My Dingo. 250 words and so not the purest form of drabble. It was inspired by her posts HERE and HERE about a rather odd reviewer on fanfic.net. Rating PG-13 for moderate violence.

They Also Eat Dingoes

The platinum vamp opened her e-mails and saw an advice from the Pit of Voles that a new story had been posted by her favorite author. She clicked on the link and read the story, frowning and biting her lip several times as she encountered unfamiliar concepts such as commas, apostrophes, capital letters, and plot twists. She dashed off a hasty review, complaining about how much the story sucked, and then added it to her ‘Favorite Stories’ list.

She moved on to her other e-mails and opened one from her sister. Her eyes widened. “OMG squeee she’s had babies!” she squealed. “Twins! I so have to go see them.” She shut down her PC and rushed from her crypt.

Half an hour later she was bending over the crib. “They’re just so, like, sweet,” she enthused. “Only, why are they all covered in fur? And with those, like, long noses and great big bushy tails?”

“Well, you know that Pablo is a Patagonian Oaxacan demon,” her sister reminded her, as two sets of huge claws reached out of the crib and fastened onto the platinum vamp’s arms. “The babies take after him.” Mouths opened to reveal multiple rows of sharp teeth and the claws dragged the platinum vamp down to the eager maws. The teeth pierced flesh and long sticky tongues tasted vampire blood.

The platinum vamp screamed and struggled to no avail. “Help me!” she begged her sister.

“Sorry, sis, no can do,” the proud mother replied. “They’re Aunteaters.”