More crazy drabbles
Dec. 16th, 2005 06:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
speaker_to_customersI’ve made a start on the next episode of ‘Sunnydale Passions’, and it should go up tomorrow. In the meantime here is some drabbling. A double drabble, 200 words, followed by a 100 word epilogue. AtS Season 5, Christmas 2003, between ‘Destiny’ and ‘Harm’s Way’. PG-13 for language. Insane as usual …
Harmony had been listening to British rock music in an attempt to understand Spike’s cultural background. Being Harmony, she hadn’t quite got it right; she had stumbled upon The Darkness’ album ‘Permission to Land’ and fallen for their pastiche of heavy metal and glam rock. Now she was singing along to their Christmas single while she went about her duties of preparing for the Wolfram and Hart Christmas Party.
“Christmas time,” she sang, “don’t let the bells end. Christmas time...”
Spike groaned. “Even your sodding Barry Manilow rubbish is better than that tripe,” he said to Angel. “Dunno how they get away with it. Shit songs, bloody screeching vocals, poncy catsuits, just fucking awful. Sodding crap. Godawful moronic garbage. Should be bloody ashamed of themselves.”
Angel lifted an eyebrow. “Don’t get so worked up about it, Spike. Here.” He picked up Spike’s lighter from the desk and handed it to the other vampire. “Why don’t you just set Harmony on fire?”
Spike raised an eyebrow in reply. “Seems a bit extreme, mate. She serve your otter blood at the wrong temperature?”
“Something like that,” Angel confirmed. “And, anyway, isn’t it better to light a Kendall than to curse The Darkness?”
They regretted it later. Morale in the office plummeted. Harmony’s replacement as Angel’s PA, Tamika, was efficient but humorless and unequivocally evil. Fred was upset, Gunn muttered darkly about employee rights, and Wesley was bitterly scathing in his condemnation of the two souled vampires’ hasty and ill-considered action.
To make amends Angel arranged a big funeral for Harmony. Her ashes were scattered at a lavish ceremony in Beverley Hills, and Lorne persuaded Elton John to perform a special song at the service.
“And it seems to me that she lived her life,” Elton wailed, “like a Kendall in the wind …”
It’s better to burn out …
Harmony had been listening to British rock music in an attempt to understand Spike’s cultural background. Being Harmony, she hadn’t quite got it right; she had stumbled upon The Darkness’ album ‘Permission to Land’ and fallen for their pastiche of heavy metal and glam rock. Now she was singing along to their Christmas single while she went about her duties of preparing for the Wolfram and Hart Christmas Party.
“Christmas time,” she sang, “don’t let the bells end. Christmas time...”
Spike groaned. “Even your sodding Barry Manilow rubbish is better than that tripe,” he said to Angel. “Dunno how they get away with it. Shit songs, bloody screeching vocals, poncy catsuits, just fucking awful. Sodding crap. Godawful moronic garbage. Should be bloody ashamed of themselves.”
Angel lifted an eyebrow. “Don’t get so worked up about it, Spike. Here.” He picked up Spike’s lighter from the desk and handed it to the other vampire. “Why don’t you just set Harmony on fire?”
Spike raised an eyebrow in reply. “Seems a bit extreme, mate. She serve your otter blood at the wrong temperature?”
“Something like that,” Angel confirmed. “And, anyway, isn’t it better to light a Kendall than to curse The Darkness?”
Epilogue: … than it is to rust
They regretted it later. Morale in the office plummeted. Harmony’s replacement as Angel’s PA, Tamika, was efficient but humorless and unequivocally evil. Fred was upset, Gunn muttered darkly about employee rights, and Wesley was bitterly scathing in his condemnation of the two souled vampires’ hasty and ill-considered action.
To make amends Angel arranged a big funeral for Harmony. Her ashes were scattered at a lavish ceremony in Beverley Hills, and Lorne persuaded Elton John to perform a special song at the service.
“And it seems to me that she lived her life,” Elton wailed, “like a Kendall in the wind …”
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-12-16 06:29 pm (UTC)For a couple of bad puns!
But at least you didn't have her going out to Larry Adler and his harmonica. ;)
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Date: 2005-12-17 02:07 pm (UTC)You bastard!
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Date: 2005-12-16 06:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-20 05:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-16 07:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-20 05:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-16 07:31 pm (UTC)Thanks for the seasonal giggles!
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Date: 2005-12-20 06:00 pm (UTC)Thank you!
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Date: 2005-12-16 07:46 pm (UTC)That's the sound of my forehead hitting the table.
Ow.
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Date: 2005-12-20 06:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-16 08:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-20 06:02 pm (UTC)Thank you!
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Date: 2005-12-16 08:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-20 06:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-16 09:38 pm (UTC)Still, your puns (especially ) had me giggligng.
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Date: 2005-12-20 06:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-16 09:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-20 06:05 pm (UTC)And I'll probably kill her again in other stories ...
Thank you!
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Date: 2005-12-16 10:38 pm (UTC)Inspired insanity. :-P
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Date: 2005-12-20 06:06 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2005-12-16 10:47 pm (UTC)Nicely done. :)
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Date: 2005-12-16 11:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-20 06:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-16 11:35 pm (UTC)Also the Christmas Time song isn't on the Permission to Land album.
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Date: 2005-12-16 11:55 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2005-12-17 12:25 pm (UTC)You are so evil.
I do like that in a man.
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